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[fic] 2PM/Jay Park: all we are
This fic is sort of a compilation of a few unfinished bits I had in my computer.First thought of making a series of drabbles, but the more I wrote (or edited what I already had around) the more they became attached somehow and spiraled into a Jay-centric/Jaytaec fic
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bluefractures.
all we are
2pm/jay park ; taecyeon/jay ; pg
1722 w
we won't break, we won't die,
it's just a moment of change.
all we are -- onerepublic.
1.
Jay runs into an old ex-girlfriend once inside a music store when he's back in Seattle.
She's just as he remembers her, wide smile, curvy hips, and he swears that skirt she's wearing is illegal in some states. She sort of hits on him, smiles seductively and touches his forearm with a we should get together some time, but Jay smiles apologetically, sorry, I'm kind of already seeing someone, and tries not to think too much of Taecyeon and that dorky, toothy smile of his.
(You better not hit on anyone back in Seattle, Taecyeon says curtly over the phone. Jay checks his ticket, then looks up to the flights chart.
Can't promise anything, dude, I'm kind of hot, he says, but then adds, won't, I promise, trust me.)
2.
Jay does whatever it takes to catch all the We Got Married episodes -- and he does mean all of them.
He joins fan-accounts to watch the show subbed because his Korean is getting shitty, and he even downloads that video-software-crappy-thing to watch international TV from his laptop. He calls Jokwon once, I'm really proud of you, but Gain is too hot for you, and sends an email to Nichkhun, YOUR WINKING IS GETTING BORING, MAN. But congratulations and all that shit. Also, I'll kick your ass if you break Woodong's heart, got it? don't think I won't.
It takes some time to get a reply, but Nichkhun writes Wooyoung would like to add you're not allowed to call him Woodong anymore, and that he'll get back to you on that last email as soon as I stop sharing hotel rooms with him, and Jay laughs, longer and harder he can remember in a long while.
(So gay the two of you, Jay says over the phone.
Jealous, Nichkhun retorts and Jay hangs up on him, just because he can -- and maybe because he truly is.)
3.
Taecyeon calls every Saturday. Just to check up, he says, but Jay's not sure if to check up on Jay or for Jay to check up on him -- Jay thinks it's probably the latter but he never comments on it.
Their conversations go from Junsu still wearing that obnoxious black tank-top to Chansung's latest dating record, and Jay feels almost as if he never left at all -- until Taecyeon says it's time to go and whispers love you, miss you ever so quietly Jay could pretend it's never been said at all.
3.5
Junsu calls him every Sunday night, to ask for advice. What should be done when Wooyoung and Chansung fight and threaten to break each other's faces, or when Junho spends days and days without talking to anyone locked inside his -- your, Junsu says -- room.
Jay can't find the right words to say I wasn't leader long enough to know these things, and what he says instead is Chansung would never punch Wooyoung, they're friends, I know them, I know him, and, tell Junho he can't break, and if he asks why, tell him I fucking say so.
(I don't have to listen to you, you're not my leader anymore, Junho says quietly.
Yeah, but we're still friends, aren't we, replies Jay and there's a lump in his throat knotting his tongue and lungs together as he waits and prays. Junho's laughter is blithe and everything Jay still remembers, of course we are, you idiot.)
3.9
Jay never tells anyone -- and why would he -- but he dreams of them five times a week. Most of his dreams involve Taecyeon and his raucous laughter, but the rest have Junho landing on his ass and Chansung tripping with his own laces and even Wooyoung pouting for whatever reason.
(Jay doesn't wake up crying anymore, but he still changes his pillowcase every two days.)
4.
Jay is out walking Peatry when Minjae calls him. It's the first time ever since, and the line is silent for about two minutes (because Jay keeps track of everything these days) before there's a long sigh, hey Jaebeommie.
Jay replies with a shaky, hi, hyung, how are you? and prays to all Gods known to men kind things are fine and everyone is save because Minjae wouldn't call unless -- the boys are heading to LA in a week. Would you like to meet up with them there? Please say yes, Chansung has threatened me enough already.
(It's dangerous, Jehan tells him.
I have to, Jay replies, and zips his bag.)
5.
LA is hot and humid and, damn it, if it weren't these boys, Jay would've said fuck you, I'm out of here a good while ago.
And, to boot, he's had to wear too many layers of clothing to disguise himself -- and it's worked so far, so his complaints are weak. But then he catches sight of a baseball cap on top of blondish hair and a pair of dark glasses covering winking, familiar eyes. Jay wants to snort at Nichkhun's choice of clothes (red tee, green plaid shorts -- bet it was a conspiracy against you) but instead smiles as wide as he can as he bumps his knuckles against Junho's and hugs Wooyoung one-armed.
(Why are you wearing this shit, Jay asks between sputters of laughter and points to Nichkhun.
None of your business, chirps Taecyeon and Jay falls off his chair laughing.)
5.9
Good things don't last forever and Jay knows this by heart.
He stares out the window of the hotel room and only flinches slightly when Taecyeon punches him in the arm. Everyone else is either asleep or too drunk to care about Jay and Taec being the only ones awake, and somehow, it's better that way.
Stop thinking, Taecyeon says, just - just live the now.
Jay whishes he could say I want to live the now forever but he refuses to do so -- but later, when Taecyeon presses him against the bathroom's door and kisses him just like back then, Jay breaks past his stubborn bubble, I can't, we can't, it hurts, I'm sorry.
Taecyeon doesn't let him go, he hugs Jay's lanky frame, I know, I know, I love you, don't go, not tonight, please.
(Jehan pats him awkwardly and says nothing, he just sits next to him in Jay's room.
Jay is half tempted to snap at him, come on, just say 'I told you so' but Jehan remains silent even when Jay blames him for not being hard enough on Jay staying.
Jay apologizes the next morning, I'm sorry man, I really am.
Jehan smiles, throws the box of cereal at him, whatever, you brought me a souvenir this time, we're cool.)
6.
The first draft of Don't let go has Chase gaping.
This is... this is intense, man, he says, stunned, and Jay smiles a little.
You think it'll make it, he asks, and Chase nods, already scribbling stuff on the left margin.
Promise you won't let me go, let's not fall even if it's only tonight, he reads, and then whistles. You've been having fun, haven't you, he jokes, and then drifts off to start the music arrangements. Jay thinks Chase doesn't need the details of how much fun he had in L.A. -- not that he had fun to begin with, either, but some things, Jay thinks, are meant to be kept a secret.
(He knows you're getting a comeback ready, Taecyeon says one Saturday night.
Jay doesn't need to hear Jinyoung's name to fill the cracks in Taecyeon's voice. Really, what'd he say, he asks, and Taecyeon only sighs.
Said he whishes you the best, actually, he replies after a while. Jay knows it's presumably far from the truth but still thanks Taecyeon for the greeting. Just go out there and show'em what they're missing out on, Jay, Taecyeon says before hanging up.
Jay smiles, thanks, Taec, really.)
7.
Jay is having his third toast of the night when his phone buzzes inside his pants.
He smiles to the producer sitting at his left side and mumbles a quick apology as he stands up. The club is loud and hot and the music makes his body thrum inside out.
Hey, he says when he reaches the restrooms and the music is only a murmur coming off the walls, thought you'd never call, kids.
There are weird noises from the other side of the line, until someone says, Dude, you rocked the stage, we're so proud of you -- wait, Wooyoung wants to talk to you.
Jay listens as Wooyoung makes a list of the steps he already learned and says they'll be back in Korea soon to battle or some crazy shit Jay can't really catch because his heartbeats are too loud. Then comes Junho's voice saying he's got the moves better than Wooyoung does, and Jay cracks up laughing in the middle of a bathroom stall. Junsu's voice comes up next, congratulations, hyung, the song is beautiful, and Jay's insides are so full with pride and a dozen other things he feels his chest tighten.
Thank you, guys, thank you so much, he whispers quietly, and asks them to tell him about Japan. By the time he goes back to the VIP lounge half the people he came with are gone, but Jay can't bring himself to care in the slightest.
(Jay presses his face against the pillow, it was so weird, he says, doing it alone.
There's a cracking breath against the phone, you were amazing, Jay.
He knows Taecyeon is being honest, but Jay also needs to be honest with himself, and asks, You think I can do this? All by myself?
Taecyeon laughs all the way from Japan -- Jay doesn't want to admit he's missed Taecyeon's laughter like a lost limb and only mutters a groggy I hate you when it doesn't look like he'll stop anytime soon. Taecyeon sighs softly after a moment, says, you'll be fine, Jay, I know that. You're one of the toughest guys I've ever met. You're the toughest out of all of us.
Jay smiles sideways, really?
Taecyeon laughs again, you'll be fine, Jay, trust me on this one.
Jay turns on his back, stares up at his ceiling, yeah, he smiles, I think we'll be just fine.)
Re-posted from
bluefractures.all we are
2pm/jay park ; taecyeon/jay ; pg
1722 w
we won't break, we won't die,
it's just a moment of change.
all we are -- onerepublic.
1.
Jay runs into an old ex-girlfriend once inside a music store when he's back in Seattle.
She's just as he remembers her, wide smile, curvy hips, and he swears that skirt she's wearing is illegal in some states. She sort of hits on him, smiles seductively and touches his forearm with a we should get together some time, but Jay smiles apologetically, sorry, I'm kind of already seeing someone, and tries not to think too much of Taecyeon and that dorky, toothy smile of his.
(You better not hit on anyone back in Seattle, Taecyeon says curtly over the phone. Jay checks his ticket, then looks up to the flights chart.
Can't promise anything, dude, I'm kind of hot, he says, but then adds, won't, I promise, trust me.)
2.
Jay does whatever it takes to catch all the We Got Married episodes -- and he does mean all of them.
He joins fan-accounts to watch the show subbed because his Korean is getting shitty, and he even downloads that video-software-crappy-thing to watch international TV from his laptop. He calls Jokwon once, I'm really proud of you, but Gain is too hot for you, and sends an email to Nichkhun, YOUR WINKING IS GETTING BORING, MAN. But congratulations and all that shit. Also, I'll kick your ass if you break Woodong's heart, got it? don't think I won't.
It takes some time to get a reply, but Nichkhun writes Wooyoung would like to add you're not allowed to call him Woodong anymore, and that he'll get back to you on that last email as soon as I stop sharing hotel rooms with him, and Jay laughs, longer and harder he can remember in a long while.
(So gay the two of you, Jay says over the phone.
Jealous, Nichkhun retorts and Jay hangs up on him, just because he can -- and maybe because he truly is.)
3.
Taecyeon calls every Saturday. Just to check up, he says, but Jay's not sure if to check up on Jay or for Jay to check up on him -- Jay thinks it's probably the latter but he never comments on it.
Their conversations go from Junsu still wearing that obnoxious black tank-top to Chansung's latest dating record, and Jay feels almost as if he never left at all -- until Taecyeon says it's time to go and whispers love you, miss you ever so quietly Jay could pretend it's never been said at all.
3.5
Junsu calls him every Sunday night, to ask for advice. What should be done when Wooyoung and Chansung fight and threaten to break each other's faces, or when Junho spends days and days without talking to anyone locked inside his -- your, Junsu says -- room.
Jay can't find the right words to say I wasn't leader long enough to know these things, and what he says instead is Chansung would never punch Wooyoung, they're friends, I know them, I know him, and, tell Junho he can't break, and if he asks why, tell him I fucking say so.
(I don't have to listen to you, you're not my leader anymore, Junho says quietly.
Yeah, but we're still friends, aren't we, replies Jay and there's a lump in his throat knotting his tongue and lungs together as he waits and prays. Junho's laughter is blithe and everything Jay still remembers, of course we are, you idiot.)
3.9
Jay never tells anyone -- and why would he -- but he dreams of them five times a week. Most of his dreams involve Taecyeon and his raucous laughter, but the rest have Junho landing on his ass and Chansung tripping with his own laces and even Wooyoung pouting for whatever reason.
(Jay doesn't wake up crying anymore, but he still changes his pillowcase every two days.)
4.
Jay is out walking Peatry when Minjae calls him. It's the first time ever since, and the line is silent for about two minutes (because Jay keeps track of everything these days) before there's a long sigh, hey Jaebeommie.
Jay replies with a shaky, hi, hyung, how are you? and prays to all Gods known to men kind things are fine and everyone is save because Minjae wouldn't call unless -- the boys are heading to LA in a week. Would you like to meet up with them there? Please say yes, Chansung has threatened me enough already.
(It's dangerous, Jehan tells him.
I have to, Jay replies, and zips his bag.)
5.
LA is hot and humid and, damn it, if it weren't these boys, Jay would've said fuck you, I'm out of here a good while ago.
And, to boot, he's had to wear too many layers of clothing to disguise himself -- and it's worked so far, so his complaints are weak. But then he catches sight of a baseball cap on top of blondish hair and a pair of dark glasses covering winking, familiar eyes. Jay wants to snort at Nichkhun's choice of clothes (red tee, green plaid shorts -- bet it was a conspiracy against you) but instead smiles as wide as he can as he bumps his knuckles against Junho's and hugs Wooyoung one-armed.
(Why are you wearing this shit, Jay asks between sputters of laughter and points to Nichkhun.
None of your business, chirps Taecyeon and Jay falls off his chair laughing.)
5.9
Good things don't last forever and Jay knows this by heart.
He stares out the window of the hotel room and only flinches slightly when Taecyeon punches him in the arm. Everyone else is either asleep or too drunk to care about Jay and Taec being the only ones awake, and somehow, it's better that way.
Stop thinking, Taecyeon says, just - just live the now.
Jay whishes he could say I want to live the now forever but he refuses to do so -- but later, when Taecyeon presses him against the bathroom's door and kisses him just like back then, Jay breaks past his stubborn bubble, I can't, we can't, it hurts, I'm sorry.
Taecyeon doesn't let him go, he hugs Jay's lanky frame, I know, I know, I love you, don't go, not tonight, please.
(Jehan pats him awkwardly and says nothing, he just sits next to him in Jay's room.
Jay is half tempted to snap at him, come on, just say 'I told you so' but Jehan remains silent even when Jay blames him for not being hard enough on Jay staying.
Jay apologizes the next morning, I'm sorry man, I really am.
Jehan smiles, throws the box of cereal at him, whatever, you brought me a souvenir this time, we're cool.)
6.
The first draft of Don't let go has Chase gaping.
This is... this is intense, man, he says, stunned, and Jay smiles a little.
You think it'll make it, he asks, and Chase nods, already scribbling stuff on the left margin.
Promise you won't let me go, let's not fall even if it's only tonight, he reads, and then whistles. You've been having fun, haven't you, he jokes, and then drifts off to start the music arrangements. Jay thinks Chase doesn't need the details of how much fun he had in L.A. -- not that he had fun to begin with, either, but some things, Jay thinks, are meant to be kept a secret.
(He knows you're getting a comeback ready, Taecyeon says one Saturday night.
Jay doesn't need to hear Jinyoung's name to fill the cracks in Taecyeon's voice. Really, what'd he say, he asks, and Taecyeon only sighs.
Said he whishes you the best, actually, he replies after a while. Jay knows it's presumably far from the truth but still thanks Taecyeon for the greeting. Just go out there and show'em what they're missing out on, Jay, Taecyeon says before hanging up.
Jay smiles, thanks, Taec, really.)
7.
Jay is having his third toast of the night when his phone buzzes inside his pants.
He smiles to the producer sitting at his left side and mumbles a quick apology as he stands up. The club is loud and hot and the music makes his body thrum inside out.
Hey, he says when he reaches the restrooms and the music is only a murmur coming off the walls, thought you'd never call, kids.
There are weird noises from the other side of the line, until someone says, Dude, you rocked the stage, we're so proud of you -- wait, Wooyoung wants to talk to you.
Jay listens as Wooyoung makes a list of the steps he already learned and says they'll be back in Korea soon to battle or some crazy shit Jay can't really catch because his heartbeats are too loud. Then comes Junho's voice saying he's got the moves better than Wooyoung does, and Jay cracks up laughing in the middle of a bathroom stall. Junsu's voice comes up next, congratulations, hyung, the song is beautiful, and Jay's insides are so full with pride and a dozen other things he feels his chest tighten.
Thank you, guys, thank you so much, he whispers quietly, and asks them to tell him about Japan. By the time he goes back to the VIP lounge half the people he came with are gone, but Jay can't bring himself to care in the slightest.
(Jay presses his face against the pillow, it was so weird, he says, doing it alone.
There's a cracking breath against the phone, you were amazing, Jay.
He knows Taecyeon is being honest, but Jay also needs to be honest with himself, and asks, You think I can do this? All by myself?
Taecyeon laughs all the way from Japan -- Jay doesn't want to admit he's missed Taecyeon's laughter like a lost limb and only mutters a groggy I hate you when it doesn't look like he'll stop anytime soon. Taecyeon sighs softly after a moment, says, you'll be fine, Jay, I know that. You're one of the toughest guys I've ever met. You're the toughest out of all of us.
Jay smiles sideways, really?
Taecyeon laughs again, you'll be fine, Jay, trust me on this one.
Jay turns on his back, stares up at his ceiling, yeah, he smiles, I think we'll be just fine.)