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[fic] B1A4: be the one (and only)
Birthday present for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
judysaurus. Longest B1A4 fic ever and Junghawn centric (kinda) and uhm yeah I love this one tbh. Quite proud of it.
(uncoded version)
Be The One (And Only)
b1a4 ; junghwan (cnu/jinyoung) ; pg13
4,500~ w
In which Junghwan is a dedicated donsaeng and tries to get Jinyoung and Dongwoo together, Sunwoo makes snarky comments at the weirdest of times, and Chansik threatens to move out (more than once).
*
It starts with one of their pointless conversations, pretty much like all the other times. Junghwan is cooking — or more like trying to cook while everyone else is just being the bundle of unsupportive bastards they usually are — when Chansik decides to talk about dating and girls and stuff along those lines.
See, it's not like they don't talk about it; actually, they do, and quite often if Junghwan is to be honest. Sunwoo can never be quiet when it comes to girls, and Jinyoung (although he hasn't really said it with actual words) writes songs about love and smiles which Chansik likes to tease him about with "Mysterious lady" comments and stuff.
But then here they are, talking about anything and everything at the same time (because it's kind of their thing already, just talk about anything to know they're all there) while sharing a calm day off and for once, The Girls Talk goes downwards faster than Junghwan can flip the pork he's frying. It's like the temperature drops (and Sunwoo will even back him up on this one later on) as everyone turns to Dongwoo when he says, "I really like Krystal."
The thing is, it shouldn't be much of a big deal, because Dongwoo? He's kind of been venting it out on national TV already. Yet, hearing him say it like this, at home, so at ease when there are no cameras or scripts, and so Dongwoo around every corner is something that maybe none of them was prepared to. Or maybe Junghwan is hungrier than he thinks he is and his brain is not following through.
"Well, she's nice," Sunwoo says tentatively, swinging his knife around (to make his point, Junghwan muses, but then has to rethink it again) and darting quick glances towards Junghwan, who isn't even sure he understands what's going on. "You have good taste, Shinwoo hyung."
And then things get even weirder, because there's a loud sound of silverware falling on top of the table and all eyes are redirected from Dongwoo to Jinyoung. He's looking down at the spoon he's dropped just now and there's a soft look on his face that makes Junghwan want to drop the pork and run towards Jinyoung and shake some life into him with the spatula he's holding.
"Something is burning," Chansik says, and Junghwan jumps slightly where he's standing in front of the frying pan but there's nothing burning, not this time, so when he opens his mouth to tell Chansik one or two things about his cooking skills, he finds Chansik's frantic gaze (or maybe Junghwan is just overreacting, really) that says something like, "ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION" in big, bright red lights.
Junghwan laughs then, to soften up the mood, but his laugh is forced and it makes his throat burn.
"I need to, uh," Jinyoung says then, looking up from the spoon, and he falters when he realizes everyone is staring at him. On cue, everyone goes back to what they're supposed to be doing; Sunwoo goes back to chopping the vegetables, Chansik to peeling off the potatoes, Junghwan to flip the pork, and Dongwoo just stares at everyone, a lost expression on his face while he dries off the plates that Junghwan is sure is mirrored on his own face as well.
Maybe hunger is making them all crazy.
"I need to run to the store. These beansprouts won't be enough for all five of us."
Jinyoung takes off his apron (green, with little cartoon foxes all over it, courtesy of Sunwoo) and tosses it to one of the chairs next to Dongwoo's, and there's something about the stiffness of his arm that makes Junghwan think that maybe what Jinyoung really wanted was to shove it down Dongwoo's throat instead.
Junghwan doesn't like to meddle in people's lives (more than he has to anyways), but this time is concern and not curiosity (unlike all those other times) what makes him take his own apron off as well.
"I'll help Jinyoung-hyung," he says as he turns to Sunwoo.
"But—" Sunwoo starts as Junghwan handles the spatula over.
"With great power," Junghwan says solemnly, "comes great responsibility. Don't burn the pork."
When he looks up, Jinyoung is already halfway into the hall and Junghwan hurries over, grabbing his jacket and putting his shoes on faster than he's ever done before. He catches up with Jinyoung shortly after, and then everything seems to catch up on him.
The first thought as he steps into the street, following Jinyoung close behind, is 'what am I doing here?' and it turns into various other questions that make no sense and confuse him even more. When he's walking into the store after their ten minute silent trip, Junghwan goes from quiet 'what was I thinking' to 'oh my God, what was I thinking when I said I'd help Jinyoung hyung, damn it, Lee Junghwan you never think, you're making Descartes roll around in his grave, you're supposed to think first, and then exist, what are you, didn't you go to school at all??!!'.
"We're not really out of beansprouts," he says out of nowhere, and he can almost feel Jinyoung cringe a few steps ahead of him, how his shoulders go stiff and his face contorts into a grimace.
Jinyoung doesn't turn, though, and Junghwan's somewhat glad because he's not sure what is it he's doing anymore. This is crazy, Junghwan thinks feebly, trying to compose himself. This is Jinyoung, he reminds himself, Jinyoung-hyung who's always there for them and now it's Junghwan's chance to possibly return the favor even if he's not sure what in the flying porks is going on.
"This sucks," Jinyoung says when they reach the vegetables' section, voice low and face unreadable. "I'm acting like a kid."
Junghwan just stares. "Hyung," he says at some point, nudging him slightly. "What is it?"
Jinyoung turns around then, faces Junghwan dead on, eyes bright and stressed and possibly about to fall off their sockets, which Junghwan hopes doesn't really happen because he's not sure what he's supposed to do at a situation like that, Leader's eyes falling off their sockets was not in his contract—
"It's Dongwoo," Jinyoung says very hurriedly, "Dongwoo and Krystal."
Oh, Junghwan's brain stops thinking then, oh, oh, oh. And seriously, Junghwan is proud of how fast he puts two and two together.
"Are you saying you're j—" Junghwan starts but Jinyoung nods furiously before the j-word is even shaped, and proceeds to stuff their trolley with several bags of beansprouts.
Oh, Junghwan thinks again, except this time his brain lets out a whimper as well, oh, this is definitely going to be hard.
::
("I can't believe you burnt the pork," Junghwan complains, throwing a pair of socks to Sunwoo's head. He misses by, at least, a mile.
Sunwoo snorts, throwing it back and hitting Junghwan square in the forehead. Junghwan wonders if he'll get into too much trouble if he shoves the socks down Sunwoo's throat.
"I can't believe you thought I need more beansprouts for lunch was code for Junghwan, please help me out solve my love life crisis.")
::
Junghwan decides to take action. No, really, he decides (around a mouthful of oatmeal once over breakfast) to fix this whole "Jinyoung isn't talking to Dongwoo anymore, they're avoiding each other, and only Junghwan knows why, this is unfair, I am the maknae and I refuse to be left out, I mean, what the hell, you guys, I am moving out" situation.
But it's not like they're avoiding each other per se, Junghwan notices it's more like "Jinyoung is the only one doing the avoiding, Dongwoo is just there looking puzzled and ready to jump off the window, Chansik, you're just overreacting ".
Junghwan has to remind himself from time to time this is Jinyoung and Dongwoo who are not talking to each other unless strictly necessary, and although it's not like they can never be quiet (unlike Chansik and Sunwoo, for example), it's unsettling not to hear their voices directed at each other anymore; and how it's Jinyoung the one feeling jealous about Dongwoo's sudden love declarations ("those are not love declarations, what are you, five? Sunwoo rolls his eyes) towards this one Krystal.
He's not averse to the idea, though. He's very open-minded about this, they're his friends and friends support whatever boat their friends float, right? Right.
So, there, he's going to fix this, he's going to make Jinyoung smile one of those crinkle-eyed smiles again and Dongwoo look less like a car hit his puppy.
::
The first step, Junghwan concludes after meticulous thinking (he's even drawn charts and statistics about pros and cons of Jinyoung and Dongwoo engaging into a relationship of sorts), is to assault both parties.
"No, wait, assault is not the word," he tells Chansik, going through his charts again. "It's more like, confront them both. But separately first. I'm not Dr. Phil level yet."
Chansik gapes at one of the charts with (Junghwan actually googled this term) Shinyoung's possible after-sex consequences. "You've gone mad. You're making charts bout sex. About sex involving both our hyungs. I'm calling your mother."
Junghwan rolls his eyes. "Give me a break, will you. I've heard you in the mornings."
"That is not sex," Chansik huffs indignantly, putting the chart down. "I'm a healthy, growing man—"
"So are they."
"—and it's perfectly normal—"
"So is sex."
Chansik sputters incoherently. Junghwan just rolls his eyes again. "Stop being such a prude, really. These are all theoretical charts."
That's when Sunwoo decides to walk in, bowl of grapes in hand. "What are you two doing? I've heard the word sex several times. Do share."
"Junghwan wants Jinyoung and Dongwoo to have sex," Chansik supplies instantly, stealing one of Chansik's grapes.
"I do not," Junghwan scowls, "I am only trying to think ahead here. If they do end up together, sex will inevitably happen."
"You're right. The sexual tension between them is unbearable." Sunwoo pats Chansik's cheek, "You can stop cringing now."
Junghwan nods his appreciation. "They need our help."
Chansik flings both arms up in the air. "Why am I the only sane one in this band?! You are both crazy and so are they and I hate you all and I'm moving out."
Both Junghwan and Sunwoo decide to ignore him. "So what's the plan, exactly?" Sunwoo asks, taking one of the charts and turning it around to look at it from different angles. He drops it seconds later.
Junghwan grins. "First, we get them alone."
::
Getting them alone is terribly easy. Sunwoo has been entitled Junghwan's official sidekick ("I am not your sidekick, I am your partner—wait, what, not in the romantic way, Chansik, shut up") and it's up to him to talk to Dongwoo and get information out of him. Information regarding his feelings towards Jinyoung, of course.
Jinyoung is spending a lot of time indoors lately since their agenda has been quite calm these past few days, and Junghwan uses this opportunity to take stage one of his "Fix Hyung's Love Crisis" plan.
"Hey, hyung?" he says from his place on the couch, waving at Jinyoung when he exits the kitchen, "Can we talk for a while?"
Jinyoung stares at him quizzically but drags his feet over and sits next to him, absently chewing on a cookie. "What is it?"
Junghwan scratches the back of his neck out of pure reflex, not because he's nervous. No, seriously. "I've been thinking about what happened the other day," he says slowly and, okay, he admittedly panics a little when Jinyoung cringes on the spot. "Hyung," he says, softer this time, an apologetic smile at his lips, "I'm not trying to upset you with this, I just want to help you."
Jinyoung cracks a smile of his own (it's the tenth part of what it usually is, though), but he's still visibly stiff. "Really? And pray tell, Junghwan, how do you think you can help me out with this?"
"Well," Junghwan starts, "for starters, I need to know why you were jealous."
Jinyoung snorts loudly and rolls his eyes so hard Junghwan fears they might fall off (he's also starting to think Jinyoung does this whole eye rolling thing just to play with his nerves), "Isn't it obvious? I like him."
"Do you like him in a 'I like ice cream' way or in a 'I could have his babies if I had the appropriate biological tools to do it' way?"
"… Appropriate biological tools?"
"Just answer the question, hyung."
Jinyoung stares at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face, and Junghwan can almost hear his brain gearing to process this whole thing. Junghwan is no expert when it comes to relationships (or even feelings, to begin with), but he truly deeply really wants to help Jinyoung because there's something, something screaming out this is the right thing to do. Besides he's seen the way Jinyoung looks at Dongwoo, the way his eyes linger a bit longer than with everyone else.
He reaches forward and takes one of Jinyoung's hands in his, and even though there's a side of his brain that's calling him the sappiest sap in the history of saps, he squeezes Jinyoung's hand encouragingly and smiles at him again.
"I really like him," Jinyoung says finally, but he's not smiling; if anything, he looks closer to tears Junghwan's ever seen him. "I like him but he likes Krystal."
"Hyung, Jinyoung-hyung," Junghwan starts, and scoots closer until their shoulders are pressed together. "If you like him that much you should tell him."
Jinyoung laughs quietly, playing with Junghwan's fingers. "I can't risk it, Junghwan. I can't risk this."
And, okay, Junghwan must admit it's a very valid and fair point. "You don't have to, precisely. As far as you know, it's 50-50. He can like you back or he can't; either way I don't think Dongwoo hyung would hold it against you if you told him about it."
And something happens then, Junghwan blurts out a "I've seen the way he looks at you," when in all honestly, he hasn't, but then he thinks about it, muses on the thought for about three-point-five seconds and realizes that yes, yes, Dongwoo looks at Jinyoung differently, like he doesn't know what to do and it's caught up in between holding Jinyoung or holding himself.
Jinyoung's head shoots up at that and Junghwan prays to all gods he's known and heard of that he isn't messing things up worse, because 3.5 seconds of analyzing isn't enough for this sort of situation.
"What do you mean?" he asks, voice lowered considerably, and Junghwan is about to tell him, really tell him what his brain has suddenly figured out, when there's a loud knock on the door and Sunwoo's voice filling the dorm as he makes his way inside.
"I think he likes you, too," Junghwan whispers, nudging Jinyoung again as Sunwoo hollers for someone to feed him, "enough to bear your babies."
Jinyoung rolls his eyes again but his smile is a tad brighter and Junghwan allows himself a pat on the back as Sunwoo walks into the living room, Dongwoo in tow.
This time, Junghwan doesn't miss the way Dongwoo's eyes linger longer than necessary on Jinyoung as he announces he's going to shower.
Well, Junghwan thinks, this might actually work according to my charts.
::
"…and then he said he wasn't sure about how he felt, I told you already," Sunwoo finishes his story in a hushed whisper. "I've never had a heart-to-heart conversation with anyone, okay, but that one was one deep talk, guys."
Junghwan plays with one of the cabinets' handles under the sink and nods a couple of times. "Dongwoo-hyung is a deep person."
"This means there's hope, right?" Sunwoo asks again from where he's lying in the tub, head pillowed on one of Chansik's towels. "I mean, he's confused about his feelings but he hasn't denied there are feelings."
Chansik pipes in, sitting cross-legged on the toilet. "Then why don't they just confess and make out and get back to being, y'know, Dongwoo and Jinyoung?"
"Because they're stubborn," Sunwoo groans.
"That they are," Junghwan sighs, leaning against the wall and banging his head against it.
It's been a week and a half since his talk with Jinyoung and they're pretty much trying to come up with a plan to get them together without it being too obvious.
On second thought, though, perhaps obvious is what they need.
"What if we lock them in the room and let them solve their crap out on their own?" Sunwoo tries.
"That might actually work," Junghwan says, and lifts his foot to nudge Chansik's leg. "Can it be your room?"
Chansik looks close to burst into tears. "Why mine? Why can't we just lock them in here!"
Junghwan rolls his eyes. "Because it's your turn to sleep by yourself and this is the bathroom, in case you didn't notice."
Sunwoo waves from the tub. "A very comfortable bathroom, I may add."
"Focus," Junghwan laughs, and throws one of his slippers at him. "We can't lock them in here, it's very anticlimactic no matter how comfortable it is."
Chansik tsks his tongue. "Okay, fine, they can use my room. If they end up having sex, though, I am moving out."
Sunwoo laughs and throws Junghwan's slipper at Chansik's pouting face, except it lands on Chansik's chest instead and they burst into a fit of giggles that is far more contagious than allowed and before they know it, their stomachs are hurting from all the laughing.
"Alright, then," Junghwan says a while later, heaving a great sigh. "When do we do this?"
"How about over the weekend? We can pretend it's a Saturday Talk," Sunwoo says, running a hand through his hair.
Both Junghwan and Chansik nod, and just like that, they've got phase two sorted out.
::
Junghwan literally starts counting the minutes missing to Saturday. By Wednesday, he and Sunwoo make sure Jinyoung and Dongwoo exchange as much words as humanly possible, and they're fairly impressed when Dongwoo makes a comment and Jinyoung actually laughs at it, really laughs at it.
The kitchen goes silent (they're attempting to cook again and Junghwan is awed at how things seem to be working themselves out in the very place where everything kind of went off its axis) at the exchange but Sunwoo quickly clears it with a loud, "Chansik, the noodles are ready!"
Junghwan watches both Jinyoung and Dongwoo from where he's been assigned to clean the beansprouts (he suspects there's a fair joke under it since cleaning up actually means chop the edges off) and, really, how could he have not seen it before?
Jinyoung is helping Sunwoo with the meat and Dongwoo stares at the back of Jinyoung's neck with this sense of longing that Junghwan can't quite understand but accepts anyways because it makes him smile widely. And then when Dongwoo is back to washing the dishes, it is Jinyoung the one who steals glances towards Dongwoo's direction when he thinks no one is looking.
When Friday rolls around Junghwan bumps into Dongwoo on his way to the laundry room. His hair is disheveled since it's still sometime around 7AM and Junghwan throws an arm over his shoulders in a friendly gesture.
"Good morning, hyung," he says, and laughs when Dongwoo flinches slightly.
"Why are you in such a good mood?" he asks, throwing a cautious smile at Junghwan. "Who have you been harassing now?"
Junghwan scowls. "I'll have you know I do not harass anyone." He lowers his voice, though, as they walk into the laundry room and Dongwoo drops his clothes on the washer. "I'm just glad you and Jinyoung hyung are talking to each other again."
Dongwoo stops on his way to pour detergent on his clothes to look up at Junghwan. "You noticed?"
Junghwan pulls a face. "You're aware we're not three-year-olds, right."
It makes Dongwoo laugh. "Could've fooled me," he says, and he smiles broadly, closing the washer and turning it on. "I talked to Sunwoo a couple of days ago. He told me you guys'd noticed there was something wrong going on."
"Was there?"
"Kind of," Dongwoo runs a hand through his hair, making it stand even more. "The thing is I wasn't sure what it was all about until Sunwoo and I talked, but it's pretty clear now."
"You like him," Junghwan says, leaning against the sink. Dongwoo nods but doesn't say anything else and Junghwan for a minute thinks he's the hyung and not Dongwoo. It's an unsettling thought. "Are you going to do something about it, hyung?" he asks quietly.
Dongwoo sighs. "As much as I would like to, I don't think it'd make a difference. He thinks I have a thing for Krystal."
Junghwan snorts. "That's what happens when you can't keep your mouth shut, hyung." He nudges Dongwoo with his hip. "We know how much you like him, he's the only one who doesn't. You should tell him."
"Or else we will." Junghwan looks towards the door to find Sunwoo's mouth opened in a wide yawn, cradling a bunch of clothes on his arms. "Your way or our way, hyung, it's up to you."
Dongwoo just smiles at them both and points to Sunwoo's clothes. "You're too late, I loaded the washer already."
Sunwoo groans. "I hate you, I hope Jinyoung decides he doesn't like you anymore." He yawns again and waves a hand. "Nah, just kidding. I know for a fact Jinyoung likes you better than ice cream."
Junghwan just chuckles at Dongwoo's confused expression.
::
From: Sunwoo ^o^
bear is trapped, fox's whereabouts are being worked on.
Junghwan stares at his phone and tries not to burst into laughter.
To: Sunwoo ^o^
hold your position, aegyoman is working on taming the fox.
From: Sunwoo ^o^
who the hell is aegyo man, junghwan.
From: Sunwoo ^o^
oh, never mind.
Junghwan is mid eye-roll when there's a quite loud "Chansik, what—" and then the sound of a door slamming shut.
From: Sunwoo ^o^
aegyo man knows no subtleness.
::
Jinyoung's furious banging stops fifteen minutes into his and Dongwoo's lockdown. It goes accompanied by several swearwords Junghwan's never heard of but will google later, and somewhere in between their mothers doing something very unlikely to a cow and your parents will hear about this!, Junghwan wonders if they've gone too far.
"What do you think is going on in there?" Sunwoo asks, glancing back at the door from time to time. "I can't hear a thing from here."
"We're not eavesdropping," Chansik says, cringing.
"Do you think they're sorting things out?"
Junghwan bites his lip. "What if we've gone too far?"
"If it comes to worst, I've got the manager's number on speed dial number two and emergencies on three," Sunwoo says, waving his phone around.
"They better be talking about this whole thing," Chansik sighs, furrowing further into the couch.
"I hope Dongwoo hyung gets as deep as he got with me," Sunwoo says. Both Junghwan and Chansik stare at him. He waves his arms around wildly, "Get your minds out of the gutter, damn it."
Junghwan bursts out laughing. "That is just nasty, okay, don't ever say anything like that again, I may puke."
Sunwoo throws a cushion at him. "Shut up, punk."
"How long do you think we should keep them there?" Junghwan asks.
"Let's give them an hour," Sunwoo nods, and then waves a hand to Chansik. "Go tell them they have one hour."
Chansik blinks. "Why me? If you say because you're the maknae I will shank you."
"Because you're aegyoman, Chansik, no one can resist you," Sunwoo grins. "Now go."
::
Ten minutes before their prisoners are to be released, Junghwan starts to panic. But just a little. Because, let's face it, it's 50-50, and things can go wrong in more ways than one and those charts he made were not really to be trusted this much and what if he just ruined not only Dongwoo and Jinyoung's friendship but also all of their careers?
"Yah, you look like you're gonna puke," Sunwoo says as he stands and stretches.
Junghwan buries his face in his hands. "What if we screwed up?"
Sunwoo waves a hand. "They'll be fine. Don't you get it? All they needed was this little push. Now stop looking so green 'cause you remind me of The Hulk."
"No, seriously, Sunwoo," Junghwan says again, tone a little desperate, because he is desperate, he's certain he's going to faint as soon as they open that door, "what if it doesn't work out and instead we pushed them off a cliff?"
"You're overreacting, calm down." Sunwoo rolls his eyes. "Besides, this was your idea."
"You're not being helpful."
"I'm never helpful."
"Oh my god," Chansik walks back into the living room from the hallway and Junghwan is about to demand to know if he's been eavesdropping but Chansik looks closer to a heart attack than him. "Oh my god."
"What," both Sunwoo and Junghwan prompt when Chansik just gapes at them, eyes wide and scared and possible scarred as well.
"I just—I was on my way to the bathroom and—and—I heard—I heard them—and—OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS." Chansik makes a face then, and Junghwan is positive he's about to cry.
"What did you hear?" Sunwoo asks, wide-eyed. Junghwan is too far into shock to even think of saying something.
Chansik lets out half a sob half a whimper. "I heard panting."
Something funny happens then. Both Sunwoo and Junghwan scramble their way towards the hall, but their limbs get in each other's ways and instead of walking, they sort of slide across the floor until they knock against the door, heads first. Junghwan grunts in pain while Sunwoo swears he just saw dancing stars behind his eyes.
He bangs the door twice. "Yah, what are you two doing?"
Junghwan presses his ear to the door, too sore to move (he can sense bruises blooming already) still lying on the floor while Sunwoo tries to pick himself up. "I can't hear a thing," he says.
"Yah!" Sunwoo bangs on the door again, a bit louder this time, "What are you —"
"Shit," someone says, although it sounds a lot like Jinyoung's voice, and it's strangled and breathy and— "do that thing with your tongue again."
Chansik is still sobbing in the living room.
::
("I will need therapy," Chansik whines from the tub. "And this is a very comfy tub."
"That was my tub," Sunwoo groans, running both hands over his face. "I don't think we agreed I'd let you use my tub in case they had sex on your bed."
"Actually you did," Junghwan says from the sink, inspecting the large bump on his forehead from his encounter with the wall earlier on.
"They had sex on my bed," Chansik whimpers, and slides miserably down the tub and out of view.
"I could even hear slurping noises," Sunwoo says, grinning wickedly.
Junghwan bursts out laughing when Chansik throws the shampoo bottle and manages to smack Sunwoo right on the head saying, "That's it, I'm moving out.")
judysaurus. Longest B1A4 fic ever and Junghawn centric (kinda) and uhm yeah I love this one tbh. Quite proud of it.(uncoded version)
Be The One (And Only)
b1a4 ; junghwan (cnu/jinyoung) ; pg13
4,500~ w
In which Junghwan is a dedicated donsaeng and tries to get Jinyoung and Dongwoo together, Sunwoo makes snarky comments at the weirdest of times, and Chansik threatens to move out (more than once).
*
It starts with one of their pointless conversations, pretty much like all the other times. Junghwan is cooking — or more like trying to cook while everyone else is just being the bundle of unsupportive bastards they usually are — when Chansik decides to talk about dating and girls and stuff along those lines.
See, it's not like they don't talk about it; actually, they do, and quite often if Junghwan is to be honest. Sunwoo can never be quiet when it comes to girls, and Jinyoung (although he hasn't really said it with actual words) writes songs about love and smiles which Chansik likes to tease him about with "Mysterious lady" comments and stuff.
But then here they are, talking about anything and everything at the same time (because it's kind of their thing already, just talk about anything to know they're all there) while sharing a calm day off and for once, The Girls Talk goes downwards faster than Junghwan can flip the pork he's frying. It's like the temperature drops (and Sunwoo will even back him up on this one later on) as everyone turns to Dongwoo when he says, "I really like Krystal."
The thing is, it shouldn't be much of a big deal, because Dongwoo? He's kind of been venting it out on national TV already. Yet, hearing him say it like this, at home, so at ease when there are no cameras or scripts, and so Dongwoo around every corner is something that maybe none of them was prepared to. Or maybe Junghwan is hungrier than he thinks he is and his brain is not following through.
"Well, she's nice," Sunwoo says tentatively, swinging his knife around (to make his point, Junghwan muses, but then has to rethink it again) and darting quick glances towards Junghwan, who isn't even sure he understands what's going on. "You have good taste, Shinwoo hyung."
And then things get even weirder, because there's a loud sound of silverware falling on top of the table and all eyes are redirected from Dongwoo to Jinyoung. He's looking down at the spoon he's dropped just now and there's a soft look on his face that makes Junghwan want to drop the pork and run towards Jinyoung and shake some life into him with the spatula he's holding.
"Something is burning," Chansik says, and Junghwan jumps slightly where he's standing in front of the frying pan but there's nothing burning, not this time, so when he opens his mouth to tell Chansik one or two things about his cooking skills, he finds Chansik's frantic gaze (or maybe Junghwan is just overreacting, really) that says something like, "ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION" in big, bright red lights.
Junghwan laughs then, to soften up the mood, but his laugh is forced and it makes his throat burn.
"I need to, uh," Jinyoung says then, looking up from the spoon, and he falters when he realizes everyone is staring at him. On cue, everyone goes back to what they're supposed to be doing; Sunwoo goes back to chopping the vegetables, Chansik to peeling off the potatoes, Junghwan to flip the pork, and Dongwoo just stares at everyone, a lost expression on his face while he dries off the plates that Junghwan is sure is mirrored on his own face as well.
Maybe hunger is making them all crazy.
"I need to run to the store. These beansprouts won't be enough for all five of us."
Jinyoung takes off his apron (green, with little cartoon foxes all over it, courtesy of Sunwoo) and tosses it to one of the chairs next to Dongwoo's, and there's something about the stiffness of his arm that makes Junghwan think that maybe what Jinyoung really wanted was to shove it down Dongwoo's throat instead.
Junghwan doesn't like to meddle in people's lives (more than he has to anyways), but this time is concern and not curiosity (unlike all those other times) what makes him take his own apron off as well.
"I'll help Jinyoung-hyung," he says as he turns to Sunwoo.
"But—" Sunwoo starts as Junghwan handles the spatula over.
"With great power," Junghwan says solemnly, "comes great responsibility. Don't burn the pork."
When he looks up, Jinyoung is already halfway into the hall and Junghwan hurries over, grabbing his jacket and putting his shoes on faster than he's ever done before. He catches up with Jinyoung shortly after, and then everything seems to catch up on him.
The first thought as he steps into the street, following Jinyoung close behind, is 'what am I doing here?' and it turns into various other questions that make no sense and confuse him even more. When he's walking into the store after their ten minute silent trip, Junghwan goes from quiet 'what was I thinking' to 'oh my God, what was I thinking when I said I'd help Jinyoung hyung, damn it, Lee Junghwan you never think, you're making Descartes roll around in his grave, you're supposed to think first, and then exist, what are you, didn't you go to school at all??!!'.
"We're not really out of beansprouts," he says out of nowhere, and he can almost feel Jinyoung cringe a few steps ahead of him, how his shoulders go stiff and his face contorts into a grimace.
Jinyoung doesn't turn, though, and Junghwan's somewhat glad because he's not sure what is it he's doing anymore. This is crazy, Junghwan thinks feebly, trying to compose himself. This is Jinyoung, he reminds himself, Jinyoung-hyung who's always there for them and now it's Junghwan's chance to possibly return the favor even if he's not sure what in the flying porks is going on.
"This sucks," Jinyoung says when they reach the vegetables' section, voice low and face unreadable. "I'm acting like a kid."
Junghwan just stares. "Hyung," he says at some point, nudging him slightly. "What is it?"
Jinyoung turns around then, faces Junghwan dead on, eyes bright and stressed and possibly about to fall off their sockets, which Junghwan hopes doesn't really happen because he's not sure what he's supposed to do at a situation like that, Leader's eyes falling off their sockets was not in his contract—
"It's Dongwoo," Jinyoung says very hurriedly, "Dongwoo and Krystal."
Oh, Junghwan's brain stops thinking then, oh, oh, oh. And seriously, Junghwan is proud of how fast he puts two and two together.
"Are you saying you're j—" Junghwan starts but Jinyoung nods furiously before the j-word is even shaped, and proceeds to stuff their trolley with several bags of beansprouts.
Oh, Junghwan thinks again, except this time his brain lets out a whimper as well, oh, this is definitely going to be hard.
::
("I can't believe you burnt the pork," Junghwan complains, throwing a pair of socks to Sunwoo's head. He misses by, at least, a mile.
Sunwoo snorts, throwing it back and hitting Junghwan square in the forehead. Junghwan wonders if he'll get into too much trouble if he shoves the socks down Sunwoo's throat.
"I can't believe you thought I need more beansprouts for lunch was code for Junghwan, please help me out solve my love life crisis.")
::
Junghwan decides to take action. No, really, he decides (around a mouthful of oatmeal once over breakfast) to fix this whole "Jinyoung isn't talking to Dongwoo anymore, they're avoiding each other, and only Junghwan knows why, this is unfair, I am the maknae and I refuse to be left out, I mean, what the hell, you guys, I am moving out" situation.
But it's not like they're avoiding each other per se, Junghwan notices it's more like "Jinyoung is the only one doing the avoiding, Dongwoo is just there looking puzzled and ready to jump off the window, Chansik, you're just overreacting ".
Junghwan has to remind himself from time to time this is Jinyoung and Dongwoo who are not talking to each other unless strictly necessary, and although it's not like they can never be quiet (unlike Chansik and Sunwoo, for example), it's unsettling not to hear their voices directed at each other anymore; and how it's Jinyoung the one feeling jealous about Dongwoo's sudden love declarations ("those are not love declarations, what are you, five? Sunwoo rolls his eyes) towards this one Krystal.
He's not averse to the idea, though. He's very open-minded about this, they're his friends and friends support whatever boat their friends float, right? Right.
So, there, he's going to fix this, he's going to make Jinyoung smile one of those crinkle-eyed smiles again and Dongwoo look less like a car hit his puppy.
::
The first step, Junghwan concludes after meticulous thinking (he's even drawn charts and statistics about pros and cons of Jinyoung and Dongwoo engaging into a relationship of sorts), is to assault both parties.
"No, wait, assault is not the word," he tells Chansik, going through his charts again. "It's more like, confront them both. But separately first. I'm not Dr. Phil level yet."
Chansik gapes at one of the charts with (Junghwan actually googled this term) Shinyoung's possible after-sex consequences. "You've gone mad. You're making charts bout sex. About sex involving both our hyungs. I'm calling your mother."
Junghwan rolls his eyes. "Give me a break, will you. I've heard you in the mornings."
"That is not sex," Chansik huffs indignantly, putting the chart down. "I'm a healthy, growing man—"
"So are they."
"—and it's perfectly normal—"
"So is sex."
Chansik sputters incoherently. Junghwan just rolls his eyes again. "Stop being such a prude, really. These are all theoretical charts."
That's when Sunwoo decides to walk in, bowl of grapes in hand. "What are you two doing? I've heard the word sex several times. Do share."
"Junghwan wants Jinyoung and Dongwoo to have sex," Chansik supplies instantly, stealing one of Chansik's grapes.
"I do not," Junghwan scowls, "I am only trying to think ahead here. If they do end up together, sex will inevitably happen."
"You're right. The sexual tension between them is unbearable." Sunwoo pats Chansik's cheek, "You can stop cringing now."
Junghwan nods his appreciation. "They need our help."
Chansik flings both arms up in the air. "Why am I the only sane one in this band?! You are both crazy and so are they and I hate you all and I'm moving out."
Both Junghwan and Sunwoo decide to ignore him. "So what's the plan, exactly?" Sunwoo asks, taking one of the charts and turning it around to look at it from different angles. He drops it seconds later.
Junghwan grins. "First, we get them alone."
::
Getting them alone is terribly easy. Sunwoo has been entitled Junghwan's official sidekick ("I am not your sidekick, I am your partner—wait, what, not in the romantic way, Chansik, shut up") and it's up to him to talk to Dongwoo and get information out of him. Information regarding his feelings towards Jinyoung, of course.
Jinyoung is spending a lot of time indoors lately since their agenda has been quite calm these past few days, and Junghwan uses this opportunity to take stage one of his "Fix Hyung's Love Crisis" plan.
"Hey, hyung?" he says from his place on the couch, waving at Jinyoung when he exits the kitchen, "Can we talk for a while?"
Jinyoung stares at him quizzically but drags his feet over and sits next to him, absently chewing on a cookie. "What is it?"
Junghwan scratches the back of his neck out of pure reflex, not because he's nervous. No, seriously. "I've been thinking about what happened the other day," he says slowly and, okay, he admittedly panics a little when Jinyoung cringes on the spot. "Hyung," he says, softer this time, an apologetic smile at his lips, "I'm not trying to upset you with this, I just want to help you."
Jinyoung cracks a smile of his own (it's the tenth part of what it usually is, though), but he's still visibly stiff. "Really? And pray tell, Junghwan, how do you think you can help me out with this?"
"Well," Junghwan starts, "for starters, I need to know why you were jealous."
Jinyoung snorts loudly and rolls his eyes so hard Junghwan fears they might fall off (he's also starting to think Jinyoung does this whole eye rolling thing just to play with his nerves), "Isn't it obvious? I like him."
"Do you like him in a 'I like ice cream' way or in a 'I could have his babies if I had the appropriate biological tools to do it' way?"
"… Appropriate biological tools?"
"Just answer the question, hyung."
Jinyoung stares at him with a dumbfounded expression on his face, and Junghwan can almost hear his brain gearing to process this whole thing. Junghwan is no expert when it comes to relationships (or even feelings, to begin with), but he truly deeply really wants to help Jinyoung because there's something, something screaming out this is the right thing to do. Besides he's seen the way Jinyoung looks at Dongwoo, the way his eyes linger a bit longer than with everyone else.
He reaches forward and takes one of Jinyoung's hands in his, and even though there's a side of his brain that's calling him the sappiest sap in the history of saps, he squeezes Jinyoung's hand encouragingly and smiles at him again.
"I really like him," Jinyoung says finally, but he's not smiling; if anything, he looks closer to tears Junghwan's ever seen him. "I like him but he likes Krystal."
"Hyung, Jinyoung-hyung," Junghwan starts, and scoots closer until their shoulders are pressed together. "If you like him that much you should tell him."
Jinyoung laughs quietly, playing with Junghwan's fingers. "I can't risk it, Junghwan. I can't risk this."
And, okay, Junghwan must admit it's a very valid and fair point. "You don't have to, precisely. As far as you know, it's 50-50. He can like you back or he can't; either way I don't think Dongwoo hyung would hold it against you if you told him about it."
And something happens then, Junghwan blurts out a "I've seen the way he looks at you," when in all honestly, he hasn't, but then he thinks about it, muses on the thought for about three-point-five seconds and realizes that yes, yes, Dongwoo looks at Jinyoung differently, like he doesn't know what to do and it's caught up in between holding Jinyoung or holding himself.
Jinyoung's head shoots up at that and Junghwan prays to all gods he's known and heard of that he isn't messing things up worse, because 3.5 seconds of analyzing isn't enough for this sort of situation.
"What do you mean?" he asks, voice lowered considerably, and Junghwan is about to tell him, really tell him what his brain has suddenly figured out, when there's a loud knock on the door and Sunwoo's voice filling the dorm as he makes his way inside.
"I think he likes you, too," Junghwan whispers, nudging Jinyoung again as Sunwoo hollers for someone to feed him, "enough to bear your babies."
Jinyoung rolls his eyes again but his smile is a tad brighter and Junghwan allows himself a pat on the back as Sunwoo walks into the living room, Dongwoo in tow.
This time, Junghwan doesn't miss the way Dongwoo's eyes linger longer than necessary on Jinyoung as he announces he's going to shower.
Well, Junghwan thinks, this might actually work according to my charts.
::
"…and then he said he wasn't sure about how he felt, I told you already," Sunwoo finishes his story in a hushed whisper. "I've never had a heart-to-heart conversation with anyone, okay, but that one was one deep talk, guys."
Junghwan plays with one of the cabinets' handles under the sink and nods a couple of times. "Dongwoo-hyung is a deep person."
"This means there's hope, right?" Sunwoo asks again from where he's lying in the tub, head pillowed on one of Chansik's towels. "I mean, he's confused about his feelings but he hasn't denied there are feelings."
Chansik pipes in, sitting cross-legged on the toilet. "Then why don't they just confess and make out and get back to being, y'know, Dongwoo and Jinyoung?"
"Because they're stubborn," Sunwoo groans.
"That they are," Junghwan sighs, leaning against the wall and banging his head against it.
It's been a week and a half since his talk with Jinyoung and they're pretty much trying to come up with a plan to get them together without it being too obvious.
On second thought, though, perhaps obvious is what they need.
"What if we lock them in the room and let them solve their crap out on their own?" Sunwoo tries.
"That might actually work," Junghwan says, and lifts his foot to nudge Chansik's leg. "Can it be your room?"
Chansik looks close to burst into tears. "Why mine? Why can't we just lock them in here!"
Junghwan rolls his eyes. "Because it's your turn to sleep by yourself and this is the bathroom, in case you didn't notice."
Sunwoo waves from the tub. "A very comfortable bathroom, I may add."
"Focus," Junghwan laughs, and throws one of his slippers at him. "We can't lock them in here, it's very anticlimactic no matter how comfortable it is."
Chansik tsks his tongue. "Okay, fine, they can use my room. If they end up having sex, though, I am moving out."
Sunwoo laughs and throws Junghwan's slipper at Chansik's pouting face, except it lands on Chansik's chest instead and they burst into a fit of giggles that is far more contagious than allowed and before they know it, their stomachs are hurting from all the laughing.
"Alright, then," Junghwan says a while later, heaving a great sigh. "When do we do this?"
"How about over the weekend? We can pretend it's a Saturday Talk," Sunwoo says, running a hand through his hair.
Both Junghwan and Chansik nod, and just like that, they've got phase two sorted out.
::
Junghwan literally starts counting the minutes missing to Saturday. By Wednesday, he and Sunwoo make sure Jinyoung and Dongwoo exchange as much words as humanly possible, and they're fairly impressed when Dongwoo makes a comment and Jinyoung actually laughs at it, really laughs at it.
The kitchen goes silent (they're attempting to cook again and Junghwan is awed at how things seem to be working themselves out in the very place where everything kind of went off its axis) at the exchange but Sunwoo quickly clears it with a loud, "Chansik, the noodles are ready!"
Junghwan watches both Jinyoung and Dongwoo from where he's been assigned to clean the beansprouts (he suspects there's a fair joke under it since cleaning up actually means chop the edges off) and, really, how could he have not seen it before?
Jinyoung is helping Sunwoo with the meat and Dongwoo stares at the back of Jinyoung's neck with this sense of longing that Junghwan can't quite understand but accepts anyways because it makes him smile widely. And then when Dongwoo is back to washing the dishes, it is Jinyoung the one who steals glances towards Dongwoo's direction when he thinks no one is looking.
When Friday rolls around Junghwan bumps into Dongwoo on his way to the laundry room. His hair is disheveled since it's still sometime around 7AM and Junghwan throws an arm over his shoulders in a friendly gesture.
"Good morning, hyung," he says, and laughs when Dongwoo flinches slightly.
"Why are you in such a good mood?" he asks, throwing a cautious smile at Junghwan. "Who have you been harassing now?"
Junghwan scowls. "I'll have you know I do not harass anyone." He lowers his voice, though, as they walk into the laundry room and Dongwoo drops his clothes on the washer. "I'm just glad you and Jinyoung hyung are talking to each other again."
Dongwoo stops on his way to pour detergent on his clothes to look up at Junghwan. "You noticed?"
Junghwan pulls a face. "You're aware we're not three-year-olds, right."
It makes Dongwoo laugh. "Could've fooled me," he says, and he smiles broadly, closing the washer and turning it on. "I talked to Sunwoo a couple of days ago. He told me you guys'd noticed there was something wrong going on."
"Was there?"
"Kind of," Dongwoo runs a hand through his hair, making it stand even more. "The thing is I wasn't sure what it was all about until Sunwoo and I talked, but it's pretty clear now."
"You like him," Junghwan says, leaning against the sink. Dongwoo nods but doesn't say anything else and Junghwan for a minute thinks he's the hyung and not Dongwoo. It's an unsettling thought. "Are you going to do something about it, hyung?" he asks quietly.
Dongwoo sighs. "As much as I would like to, I don't think it'd make a difference. He thinks I have a thing for Krystal."
Junghwan snorts. "That's what happens when you can't keep your mouth shut, hyung." He nudges Dongwoo with his hip. "We know how much you like him, he's the only one who doesn't. You should tell him."
"Or else we will." Junghwan looks towards the door to find Sunwoo's mouth opened in a wide yawn, cradling a bunch of clothes on his arms. "Your way or our way, hyung, it's up to you."
Dongwoo just smiles at them both and points to Sunwoo's clothes. "You're too late, I loaded the washer already."
Sunwoo groans. "I hate you, I hope Jinyoung decides he doesn't like you anymore." He yawns again and waves a hand. "Nah, just kidding. I know for a fact Jinyoung likes you better than ice cream."
Junghwan just chuckles at Dongwoo's confused expression.
::
From: Sunwoo ^o^
bear is trapped, fox's whereabouts are being worked on.
Junghwan stares at his phone and tries not to burst into laughter.
To: Sunwoo ^o^
hold your position, aegyoman is working on taming the fox.
From: Sunwoo ^o^
who the hell is aegyo man, junghwan.
From: Sunwoo ^o^
oh, never mind.
Junghwan is mid eye-roll when there's a quite loud "Chansik, what—" and then the sound of a door slamming shut.
From: Sunwoo ^o^
aegyo man knows no subtleness.
::
Jinyoung's furious banging stops fifteen minutes into his and Dongwoo's lockdown. It goes accompanied by several swearwords Junghwan's never heard of but will google later, and somewhere in between their mothers doing something very unlikely to a cow and your parents will hear about this!, Junghwan wonders if they've gone too far.
"What do you think is going on in there?" Sunwoo asks, glancing back at the door from time to time. "I can't hear a thing from here."
"We're not eavesdropping," Chansik says, cringing.
"Do you think they're sorting things out?"
Junghwan bites his lip. "What if we've gone too far?"
"If it comes to worst, I've got the manager's number on speed dial number two and emergencies on three," Sunwoo says, waving his phone around.
"They better be talking about this whole thing," Chansik sighs, furrowing further into the couch.
"I hope Dongwoo hyung gets as deep as he got with me," Sunwoo says. Both Junghwan and Chansik stare at him. He waves his arms around wildly, "Get your minds out of the gutter, damn it."
Junghwan bursts out laughing. "That is just nasty, okay, don't ever say anything like that again, I may puke."
Sunwoo throws a cushion at him. "Shut up, punk."
"How long do you think we should keep them there?" Junghwan asks.
"Let's give them an hour," Sunwoo nods, and then waves a hand to Chansik. "Go tell them they have one hour."
Chansik blinks. "Why me? If you say because you're the maknae I will shank you."
"Because you're aegyoman, Chansik, no one can resist you," Sunwoo grins. "Now go."
::
Ten minutes before their prisoners are to be released, Junghwan starts to panic. But just a little. Because, let's face it, it's 50-50, and things can go wrong in more ways than one and those charts he made were not really to be trusted this much and what if he just ruined not only Dongwoo and Jinyoung's friendship but also all of their careers?
"Yah, you look like you're gonna puke," Sunwoo says as he stands and stretches.
Junghwan buries his face in his hands. "What if we screwed up?"
Sunwoo waves a hand. "They'll be fine. Don't you get it? All they needed was this little push. Now stop looking so green 'cause you remind me of The Hulk."
"No, seriously, Sunwoo," Junghwan says again, tone a little desperate, because he is desperate, he's certain he's going to faint as soon as they open that door, "what if it doesn't work out and instead we pushed them off a cliff?"
"You're overreacting, calm down." Sunwoo rolls his eyes. "Besides, this was your idea."
"You're not being helpful."
"I'm never helpful."
"Oh my god," Chansik walks back into the living room from the hallway and Junghwan is about to demand to know if he's been eavesdropping but Chansik looks closer to a heart attack than him. "Oh my god."
"What," both Sunwoo and Junghwan prompt when Chansik just gapes at them, eyes wide and scared and possible scarred as well.
"I just—I was on my way to the bathroom and—and—I heard—I heard them—and—OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS." Chansik makes a face then, and Junghwan is positive he's about to cry.
"What did you hear?" Sunwoo asks, wide-eyed. Junghwan is too far into shock to even think of saying something.
Chansik lets out half a sob half a whimper. "I heard panting."
Something funny happens then. Both Sunwoo and Junghwan scramble their way towards the hall, but their limbs get in each other's ways and instead of walking, they sort of slide across the floor until they knock against the door, heads first. Junghwan grunts in pain while Sunwoo swears he just saw dancing stars behind his eyes.
He bangs the door twice. "Yah, what are you two doing?"
Junghwan presses his ear to the door, too sore to move (he can sense bruises blooming already) still lying on the floor while Sunwoo tries to pick himself up. "I can't hear a thing," he says.
"Yah!" Sunwoo bangs on the door again, a bit louder this time, "What are you —"
"Shit," someone says, although it sounds a lot like Jinyoung's voice, and it's strangled and breathy and— "do that thing with your tongue again."
Chansik is still sobbing in the living room.
::
("I will need therapy," Chansik whines from the tub. "And this is a very comfy tub."
"That was my tub," Sunwoo groans, running both hands over his face. "I don't think we agreed I'd let you use my tub in case they had sex on your bed."
"Actually you did," Junghwan says from the sink, inspecting the large bump on his forehead from his encounter with the wall earlier on.
"They had sex on my bed," Chansik whimpers, and slides miserably down the tub and out of view.
"I could even hear slurping noises," Sunwoo says, grinning wickedly.
Junghwan bursts out laughing when Chansik throws the shampoo bottle and manages to smack Sunwoo right on the head saying, "That's it, I'm moving out.")