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[fic] SJ: holding on a rope
For the 100 SJ Fic Challenge of Doom; part one of the Make a Run For It series or however else you please to call it. I call it The Huge Ass Fic that Grew Like a Fucking Pimple.
holding on a rope
super junior ; kibum/donghae ; pg
504 w
one hundred: regret
When Kibum thinks about the things he regrets the most in his life, he finds two.
Not telling Donghae what he really felt, and agreeing to be his best-man on his wedding day.
It happened too fast their youth, and when Kibum had finally packed up the courage to say something, Donghae wasn't there. Donghae wasn't waiting; Donghae had left.
"People don't wait forever, Kibum," Heechul reasons over a bottle of whiskey the night Donghae announces he is going to propose to his girlfriend -- now, fiancée. Kibum watches as Heechul pours himself another glass and swallows it whole without even wincing.
He does the same, just for the sake of something to do. "People can't wait," Heechul continues wisely -- or drunkenly, it's hard to tell. "It's sad but also true."
Kibum agrees with a low hum and keeps drinking, eyes glued to the center table and Heechul's soles. "Yeah," he says. "You're totally right, hyung."
It's true, Heechul's right and Kibum recognizes it even in his inebriated state.
"I wish he had," Kibum says a while later, face pressed against a cushion. Some time in the middle of their drinking party Heechul has sat himself next to Kibum and is now rubbing his back comfortably. Kibum closes his eyes tiredly, giving in to sleep.
His last mumble is low and broken, "I wish I hadn't taken so long."
*
"You look like crap, and I'm the one who's getting married and a nervous wreck right now." Donghae speaks softly from the chair in one of the corners of the church's tiny changing room, looking at Kibum with confused eyes and a pout on his lips.
Kibum feels the urgency to kiss it off but strains himself. "Are you okay, Kibummie?"
Don't call me that, Kibum thinks sadly, not when you're about to share your life with someone else. He looks up. "Yeah," he lies smoothly, smiling a crooked smile and hating himself for this whole thing. "It's just been a hard week at work, that's all."
Donghae nods understandably, and clueless at the same time. "You should take a break, you know. You always work too much. And you get stressed, too. I don't like it when you're all stressed out."
"I'm sorry," Kibum whispers, but isn't really sure about what he's apologizing for, if for working too much or for looking like this in Donghae's wedding -- or even for not telling him the truth. He feels the need to say something else -- I love you, I've always loved you and I don't think I'll ever stop -- but can't think of anything proper to say.
"I'm about to get married," Donghae says slowly and it feels like a punch in the gut for Kibum. His heart aches, his stomach constricts painfully and his lungs seem to burn. Kibum doesn't let it show, much for Donghae's than his own sake. "I'm about to get married, Kibummie."
Kibum flinchs and shrugs the pain in his heart off. "Yeah. Yeah, you are."
holding on a rope
super junior ; kibum/donghae ; pg
504 w
one hundred: regret
When Kibum thinks about the things he regrets the most in his life, he finds two.
Not telling Donghae what he really felt, and agreeing to be his best-man on his wedding day.
It happened too fast their youth, and when Kibum had finally packed up the courage to say something, Donghae wasn't there. Donghae wasn't waiting; Donghae had left.
"People don't wait forever, Kibum," Heechul reasons over a bottle of whiskey the night Donghae announces he is going to propose to his girlfriend -- now, fiancée. Kibum watches as Heechul pours himself another glass and swallows it whole without even wincing.
He does the same, just for the sake of something to do. "People can't wait," Heechul continues wisely -- or drunkenly, it's hard to tell. "It's sad but also true."
Kibum agrees with a low hum and keeps drinking, eyes glued to the center table and Heechul's soles. "Yeah," he says. "You're totally right, hyung."
It's true, Heechul's right and Kibum recognizes it even in his inebriated state.
"I wish he had," Kibum says a while later, face pressed against a cushion. Some time in the middle of their drinking party Heechul has sat himself next to Kibum and is now rubbing his back comfortably. Kibum closes his eyes tiredly, giving in to sleep.
His last mumble is low and broken, "I wish I hadn't taken so long."
*
"You look like crap, and I'm the one who's getting married and a nervous wreck right now." Donghae speaks softly from the chair in one of the corners of the church's tiny changing room, looking at Kibum with confused eyes and a pout on his lips.
Kibum feels the urgency to kiss it off but strains himself. "Are you okay, Kibummie?"
Don't call me that, Kibum thinks sadly, not when you're about to share your life with someone else. He looks up. "Yeah," he lies smoothly, smiling a crooked smile and hating himself for this whole thing. "It's just been a hard week at work, that's all."
Donghae nods understandably, and clueless at the same time. "You should take a break, you know. You always work too much. And you get stressed, too. I don't like it when you're all stressed out."
"I'm sorry," Kibum whispers, but isn't really sure about what he's apologizing for, if for working too much or for looking like this in Donghae's wedding -- or even for not telling him the truth. He feels the need to say something else -- I love you, I've always loved you and I don't think I'll ever stop -- but can't think of anything proper to say.
"I'm about to get married," Donghae says slowly and it feels like a punch in the gut for Kibum. His heart aches, his stomach constricts painfully and his lungs seem to burn. Kibum doesn't let it show, much for Donghae's than his own sake. "I'm about to get married, Kibummie."
Kibum flinchs and shrugs the pain in his heart off. "Yeah. Yeah, you are."